Guest Post

Oh boy, do I have a treat for you! A friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous, gave me permission to post an e-mail he sent to me. It's hilarious.

Every time I read this, it cracks me up...

Well, I am very Jeckyl and Hyde on the dating thing. As my friend can witness, I was very charming and flirtatious with the waitress last night and feeling really good about myself after cracking her up. Then she moved in next to the Seno-types (hipsters with the moussed up hair) at the bar and was cracking up even louder at their jokes. Okay, that's rambling.

The dating thing breaks down like this... I'm not afraid of commitment, would love it. I'm just afraid of commitment to the wrong person, someone who fools me. Yes, I'm pretty picky but the pickiness is more character than looks driven. The problem is, whenever I meet someone that seems like she measures up to my high standards, I first go into worship mode, "oh she's a goddess," then I quickly go to "why the hell would she go slumming with me," and then sometimes that leads to "who the hell does she think she is, she's not better than me." The amazing part is that many times this happens without any verbal communication between us. Is this scary or what? Wait it gets better....

The other thing I do is right off the bat start thinking about what itwould be like to be married and have kids with them. In other words....I THINK LIKE A WOMAN! So that really confuses me. Am I a lesbian? I do really enjoy Ellen. Today she had Sasha Cohen AND mybirthday-mate Jennifer Love Hewitt. (Even more rambling.)

I am too sensitive...I know how bad I feel when someone isn't interested in me, so I don't want to go out with someone and have them like me when I don't feel the same. I don't want to hurt anyone either.

Okay here's another weird thing. Almost without fail, if do manage to meet a girl I like, it seems like they come in twos. So now I feel like I have to make a choice (I don't, but I feel that way) or somehow I'm cheating on someone even though I'm not dating anyone. Anyway, I get frozen because I'm sure I'll pick the wrong one...how could there be a wrong one if I've got nobody to begin with. Anyway I'm bad with too many choices. I need to go to a restaurant that has only one meal onthe menu. (Now I'm really rambling.)

For me, thinking about dating is like thinking about religion and the origin of the universe. It just keeps me awake all night and my head hurts.

So now I've come full circle and made a short story long:

"The (short) answer is that it's really risky to work hard, because then if you fail you can no longer say that you failed because you didn'twork hard. It's a form of self-protection." (Seno note: this quote comes from a fantastic Bill Simmons interview with Malcolom Gladwell on ESPN.com. I had forwarded the article to him because it's THAT good. I'm not sure how we made the leap, but we went from that article to this e-mail he sent me. FYI, Simmons is my favorite internet writer, so read it!)

Yes, I don't try very hard at dating because then I don't get hurt when I fail. Of course, it doesn't really work because I still hurt and I have nothing to show for the pain...

So, what do you think of Mr. Lucky? Opinions please...